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Friday Funnies 2.7.20

In stead of continuing to clog up your Facebook feeds with random quotes from my kids, I thought I would start using this blog to share their weirdness. For the last few weeks, I've kept my ears and my notes section on my phone wide open. What I've realized kids aren't the only ones in my life who say hilarious stuff. So...from now will be able to come to my page every Friday and read the weird crap that comes out of the mouths of my loved ones.


Miss Finley during lunchtime. She was refusing to eat the fruit on her plate:

"Mom I don't like blueberries. I can only eat them in my mind."

Eating lemon butter scallops and Finley says out of nowhere, "This lemon sauce really blows me up in my mouth. It scares me and I say *gasp* OH MY GOODNESS! THAT'S SO SOUR! And then I say OH IT'S JUST LEMON. I'll be okay."

Sitting in silence as I read and Finley plays. She starts giggling uncontrollably and then she mumbles:

"*Sigh*...purple elephants aren't real..." and she continues playing.

FJ "Mom do you know what I always dream of?" Me "What's that?" FJ "Stuffed up unicorns."

Me "Stuffed up? Like unicorns with colds?"

FJ "'ve got to be kidding me. Like unicorns that are stuffed and soft." Me "Ohhhh. Like a stuffed animal. Why do you have dreams about those"

FJ "Because I need one real bad! Can you please get me one for my birthday when I'm five?"

Me "Maybe. We'll see." FJ "Okay...maybe. Great. Thank you already."


I am leading bedtime prayer: Me "In Jesus' name we pray..." Denver "God bless you."

Denver comes into my bathroom while I'm "getting ready" to go get Finley from school.

D "Why you wear jammies, mom?"

Me "These aren't jammies, Denver. They're sweatpants."

D "Meeeebeeee sweatpants is jammies, mom." Me "Would you rather I wear leggings, then?" D "Yes, please."


Sitting at a party in a bar near my hometown. My dad leans in with this concerned look on his face and says, "There is a young guy sitting at the bar with an FFA jacket on...wait no. It's 4-H. Wait. Nevermind. It's Harley Davidson. He's good to go."

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