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Haleigh Schoon

Friday Funnies: COVID-19 Edition

Compiling this collection of Friday funnies made it abundantly clear how much my kids are absorbing the COVID-19 information to which they are being exposed. Luckily, it also became clear how hilarious their interpretation of this situation actually is!


Finley and Denver are are playing doctor within earshot.

FJ "Any diabetes in your heart?"

D "Yes!" FJ "Snot and mucous?" D "Yes! Not and smooches!"

FJ "Headaches?" D "yep."

FJ "Do you have wrinkly toes or anything?" D "YEAH!"

FJ "Are you tired all the time?"

D "I'm tired!"

FJ "Okay. You can leave now. I will send you medicine on amazon."


After cleaning Denver up from a trip to the big girl potty:

Me "Man, Denver. That was a messy poop!"

FJ (under her breath as she is walking down the hallway) "Boy do I know all about messy poops. I got a virus."


I was cleaning the bathroom this week. While scrubbing the shower, I had to ask Denver several times to stay out of the shower. At the fourth time she entered the shower, I lost it:

Me "Denver Renée! Mommy told you to get out of the shower! GO! Why do you make me yell like this? Why don't you listen?" D "CUZ! I NOT WISTEN! I'M DENBUH!"


Denver kept asking me for a baby wipe over and over. Her hands and face were clean (for once), there was no mess to be found anywhere. I could not figure it out. I finally gave her one...only for he rot walk right over to her toy phone and start "sanitizing" it like she has seen me do a million times these past few weeks.


Denver kept saying "We go buh bye, mommy?" I kept replying "Not today, babe." Over and over and over. Finally Finley chimes in and says "DENVER! We can't leave the house for a hundred weeks. There's a Kona virus in all the stores!"

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